Video: Five Things Women Need to do Before Marriage



Below, is the script from today's video...

Today, we are talking about five things women need to do before they get married.

1. Enjoy the single season.  This is your opportunity to learn independence.  In my opinion, I believe that women and men need to learn how to be comfortable with just themselves.  Because if you don't like being alone with you, why would you expect someone else to enjoy being alone with you?  You might marry someone who needs some quiet time or needs to take a walk alone in order to think or meditate on the Lord and if you're not okay with just being still, being silent by yourself, there's a good chance you're going to drive him nuts.  Learn some independence right now.  It'll help.  It'll pay off.

2. Make a list.  Make a list of things you want to do before you get married.  Like a bucket list before you tie the knot - so, like a "knot list."  Make a list of new things you want to learn and experience before you get married.  Buy your first diamond for yourself.  You can wear that as a purity ring.  Do you want to go sky diving?  Go on a road trip - Highway 101 in California is beautiful!  Learn a new language!  Go get some Rosetta Stone and when you get married you can wow your husband with some new languages.  Basically, this list will help make you more interesting and have more things to discuss when you get married.  Just because you finished high school or college doesn't mean it's time to stop learning.  Keep yourself busy with new things and fun things and things that glorify the Lord.  It'll help give you a better idea of your likes and your dislikes.

3. Throw out a list.  I'm not talking about this last list, our "knot list" we were talking about.  I'm talking about throwing out a list of shallow expectations of what you want in a future love - your future hubby.  Growing up, most girls do this.  Most girls write a list of all the things they want in the man they're going to marry one day.  It can get really ridiculously specific.  "He must be tall, dark, and handsome.  A firefighter.  Two siblings.  Do volunteer work.  His favorite movie must be "The Notebook." - That kind of silly stuff.  Did the Lord inspire this list?  Did the Lord tell you this is what your husband is going to be like?  Or "this is what I expect your husband to look like."  If not, then throw out that list.  Don't have these silly, shallow desires unless the Lord tells you specifically, "this is what your husband's going to look like.  This is what your husband's going to act like.  This is how he's going to sound.  This is what he's going to do for a living."  Don't have those specific expectations.  Don't have fleshly expectations.  Let all of your desires be Holy Spirit led.  Trust that the Lord will let you know, "Hey!  This is the person for you!"

4. Learn the difference between love and lust.  Lust is selfish, it's inward driven.  Lust is, "what can you do for me?"  That's not good.  That is not love.  Lust can be, "he makes me laugh and he gets me flowers and I love that he makes me feel so good about myself."  None of those things are love, no.  Love is commitment.  It's unconditional.  It's intentional.  Love is, "even if you let me down, even if you disappoint me, even if I'm having a terrible day, I love you because I said I love you and I will continue to love you."  Lust says, "you're not working now" or "you're not doing things right for me" or "I'm bored" or "my feelings are hurt so I'm going.  Bye!"  Love is patient, kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it makes no records of wrong.  Love does not delight in evil, but it rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers.  Lust doesn't do any of those things.  Lust says, "this is too hard, so it's time to end."  That's not love.  Love is going to endure and love is a choice that you make.  So study it.  Learn the difference between love and lust.  And honestly, while we're in our fleshly bodies, I don't think that we're ever going to fully understand the depths of love.  As long as we're on earth, I believe that love and pursuing the knowledge of love is going to be constant.  It's never going to stop.  There's so so much to learn about love.  Start studying now and ask the Lord for wisdom on what love is and what love looks like and what it doesn't look like so you don't get it confused later on with lust.

5. Get closer to God.  As a child of God, you've been given much, so much is required from you.  The enemy will do anything he can to ruin your witness.  He'll do anything he can to discredit you and tempt you out of God's protection.  So if we're not close to God, we're not making good decisions.  If we're not close to God, we're vulnerable to attacks.  So get close to the Lord.  Learn more about Him.  Pursue more of Him because we cannot trust our own hearts.  The Bible says that the heart is deceptive.  Who can know it?  Who can understand what's in our own heart?  We can't, but God knows what's in our hearts.  We can't trust what's in our hearts, but we can trust the Lord.  He is good and He will never ever fail you.  He will never give up on you.  He will always be at the ready when you're ready to say, "I have no one but You, God.  So please, guide me and direct me and inspire my desires."

I hope that it inspires you as a single to pursue the Lord more and to give Him this area of your life - this singleness.  And to be satisfied with where you are right now, because this is a great time!

Thank you for watching and/or reading!  Jesus loves you!

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